I don't do that very often.
Whenever I get the chance to get anywhere near the couch, father makes me lay facedown on it and he rests his buttocks on me.
So being able to sit instead of laying made me happy.
A little.
Just a little.
I was watching TV and saw a commercial for pet pillows.
It was about little kids where they turned a pet into a pillow.
I was amazed.
Really amazed.
Okay.
Maybe just a little amazed.
Just a little.
I haven't had a pet for a long time.
My goldfish died a while ago.
If you remember.
I have pillows though.
Lots of pillows.
The reason why I have a lot of pillows is that my mom brings home pillows from clients at the hotels she works at.
She's a loving mother.
She brings home at least 15 pillows a day from 15 different clients.
They smell kind of funny.
But I think that's the smell of love.
Because that's also what father smells like whenever he tries to tuck me in bed.
So now I really really really really really really really really really really really really want a pet pillow.
I called the number within the next 15 minutes and someone picked up.
It was a white person trying to act ghetto.
How did I know?
Because she was trying too hard.
I asked her about the pet pillow and she said
"AM SORRY WHO THE FUCK IS YOUS? TALKIN TO ME LIKE YOU WANT SOMETHIN I OUGHTA-"
I hung up on her right away.
She sounded too tough over the phone.
I called the number again.
Except this time it was an indian person.
Not the indian where my handsomly manly ancestors took their land and had their way with them.
I'm talking about the indian where they breed like crack bunnies.
"HALLUH MA'AM HOW KUN I HALP U TIS EHVENINGUH"
I whispered on the phone how I very much wanted a pet pillow.
"WELL HUWDEH DOO MA'AM I KUN HALP U GIT DA PEHT U WUNT, JUS HULDUN A MINUD"
I was waiting.
and dwaiting.
and waiting.
and waiting.
and waiting.
and waiting.
then he came back.
"WELL MA'AM I KUNFURM DAT WE DEW HAF SUM PEHT PILLOHS, WIJ WUN DO U WUN?"
I told him I wanted the penguin.
Reason why I wanted one was because it reminded me of the movie with the dancing penguin.
I really like that movie.
Dancing penguins made me feel a little happy inside.
Just a little.
"OH A'M SORI MA'AM WE HAF JUS RAHN OUD OF PANGWINS, I HAB SUM PAHNDAHS FO U DOH, WULD U LIEK A PANDAH ENSTED?"
I felt insulted.
Very insulted.
How can a smelly curry loving man understand my love and passion for penguins, especially penguins that can turn into pillows and dance?
I started coming at his accent and his 2 dollar an hour job and if he doesn't get me my penguin I'm going to eat a cow.
"OHNO MA'AM PLEESE DO NAUT DO DAT, I LOF KOWS N I DUN WUN U TEW EET DAT SECKSY ASS AMINAL BUHT A'M SORI WE JUS HAF NO MO PANGWINS"
I cried on the phone.
I cried so hard.
He was spazzing out about how his earpiece got wet from my magical emo tears.
Then there was a knock on the door.
I opened it.
It was mother.
She had a pet pillow.
It was a red penguin pet pillow.
I smiled so hard, a baby was born.
An emo baby was born.
I grabbed it really quick without even asking where she got it.
It smelled like love like it always do.
With a mix of a funky odor.
Then I overheard my mom say that she was at a client's house and they were conducting business in her room and she used the pet pillow to absorb her monthly fluids by putting it underneath her.
At first I was shocked.
Shocked at the fact that my mom cared for me that she'd give me a piece of her in the pet pillow.
I hugged it really tight.
and then I hugged her.
Just so I can give her back a piece of love that she gave me.
